Here is the deal: You are not here to be anything but yourself. And that's a hard thing to understand sometimes if we take into consideration the amount of social pressure. Right?
There is no greater act of freedom than permitting yourself to be who you really are. And to you allow yourself to be who you are, or to choose you constantly means beating yourself up with self-demands, "shoulds," and perfectionisms that prevent you from happiness. Can we talk about comparison because of social media? we have all being there.
Generally, this is usually due to low self-esteem that we drag from childhood or adolescence. But it is time to change this way of relating to ourselves!. Believe it or not, you are worth it.
Often, our attention is directed more to the negative aspects that we have than to the positive ones. And guess what, whatever you put attention it: it grows. Since the positive aspects are often overlooked, or we take for granted that they have to be present in our lives.
If you want to start changing this way of relating to yourself, I would like to suggest that every day you try to identify a positive thing, something that you liked about yourself that day, and that you congratulate yourself for it (it can be verbally, doing something you like, etc.). This is something my therapist told me to do! And what a game changer. To do this, at the end of the day, ask yourself the following question: What did I like about myself today?
You are sure to discover wonderful things and start permitting yourself to be who you really are. You are probably a wonderful person, and you are little aware of it, since you spend most of your time with "the magnifying glass" on your mistakes, your weak points, etc. OR comparing yourself to someone else. When the reality is, that person is also comparing himself to another one. It's a circle.
Work on your weak points, be aware of what they are, and especially enhance your strengths, your skills and show the world everything you can contribute. Share your gifts and talents with the people around you! It will be beneficial for them and also for you. How many times have you prioritized your needs over others? How many times have you decided based on what you have wanted without fear of what they will say?. If you are like most of the people out there the answer is many times.
We live in a society in which looking out for oneself, attending to our own needs, and prioritizing our emotional state over that of the rest is seemed selfish. Have you ever felt guilty when saying "no,"? . This is very common. However, let us tell you something: if it brings you peace and you are not hurting anyone, then, that's the right thing to do.
The smart thing to do to find who you are and want it's to find a quiet space where you can define how your present is looking for you and analyze what things about it may be preventing you from continuing to grow and for sure: move forward. Being alone when you need it is fine; you don't become a lone wolf, antisocial, or unworthy because you cancel that one event everyone is going to. Being alone will allow you to grow, identify where you are and where you want to go. Listen to yourself, and you will know many things that you may not even be aware of. Again: it's completely ok to live a life others don't seem as cool or important.
We grow up believing that the most important thing is to please others' views of beauty and live decisions in general, but the reality is far from that. Happiness has to do with appreciating ourselves, taking into account and giving ourselves the space we deserve. Learning to listen to yourself takes time and patience because we are always bombarded with rare beauty standards, perfect Instagram families, and perfect lifes in general.
It is important that, before starting to walk and starting your journey, you have been able to look inward, to take into account your needs, objectives, aspirations, and concerns. Listening to yourself is the first step to making any decision or getting involved in certain situations. And most important: allow yourself to make a mistake. It is ok. Growth is not linear.
Respect your doubts, insecurity, and uncertainty, and stop. You can go back and find another path if you consider it necessary.
In human life, it is easy for us to stray from our essence and seek to be someone different from who we really are, many times in an attempt to achieve success or the attention of others, without realizing that the best guarantee of success and care is authenticity. Have you ever lost yourself trying to get that perfect pose you saw on some post and picture while you are on vacation? . We are not even living in that moment. We are just thinking about validation within society.
When we are who we are, and we do not pretend to be something else, we become more attractive, more credible, and we generate trust, and all this makes it easier for us to succeed in whatever we seek to achieve. We feel more comfortable in our own skin and more fulfilled because self-esteem has its roots in being and fulfillment in the expression of being.
We must realize that when we are who we are is when we really feel happy and when we naturally achieve success. The self judgment is gone and you finally understand you are not here to be anything but happy. It might sound cliche but life passes and we can't pass throught it just thinking about the next step you should take to achieve a "perfect" life or body that honestly: does not exist.
We hope this blog helps you next time you catch yourself comparing to someone else.
With love, The Ishine team